Whatever happened to class?

Ok, the purpose of this post is not to rag on people, truly. However, there are things in life that make you go hmmm. I saw a commercial this week for the 10 Most Fascinating People with the inimitable Barbara Walters. I had to smile to see Betty White who remains, in my mind, an extremely funny lady that you just can’t help but love. In the commercial Barbara leans in and asks Betty something like “What is sex like after 80?” To which Betty with a snide leer replies, “I guess it’s great, if you can get it.” Or some such drivel.

And there it is, the hook – Sex. We love to hear about it, talk about it, do it and peep, unawares, into the sex life of others. Even giving in to my voyeuristic urges, I thought the commercial was ridiculous and tasteless which of course made me laugh. I believe they call that derision. How appropriate is it to ask an Octogenarian about their sex life? Do they really have a sex life and hell if they do, do you want to know about it? How good can sex be after one is a mass of wrinkles and body aches? It’s inevitable people, the body ages. What happens when the star pitcher is too tired to get up to bat? After you can no longer recognize yourself as sexy in the mirror who the hell wants to talk about sex? Much as I hate to admit it, I can feel the drag of time at 40 something and just can’t see, if I am graced to live that long, how I can be a roaring nympho at 80 something. It would be nice but really? So, then I ask myself, “Self, with age comes dignity, right?” And she replies, tongue in cheek, “Not in the 21st century apparently.”

Before that, there was Cher who is plastered everywhere promoting her new movie. I was agog to see her accepting a star or some such nonsense and crouching for the honor. Why, of why, did she look boldly into the camera and say, “If you see a flash of turquoise, it’s just my panties.” Gah! Gross. She looks good but numbers don’t lie. It reminds me of a song from the play Chicago, “Whatever happened to Class?”.  Class

That was so classless. Are we in a time warp here? Does she not realize at 60 something that she is not the hot momma she was back in the day? For crying out loud, where is your dignity and why are you flashing people your panties? Is this what you wish them to remember you for even now? I know we are talking about Cher so don’t answer that.

I can understand the media as it is their job to titillate the public and draw our attention. Their methods are increasingly flamboyant and immoral but that’s par for the course in the 21st century. Man is an animal and civilized or no we often fall into idiocy when our baser instincts are engaged. I accept that. I don’t like it but I accept it. But c’mon people as time marches relentlessly on do you really want people thinking about the color of your underwear and what you are doing under the covers? No one says that life after 60 means certain death but surely one rises above our baser instincts to something more refined and grandiose. No?

It stokes the questions I had as a kid. I mean I never really believed that my pubic hair would go gray and am still quite horrified at the thought. That’s what razors are for! What is sexy? How to remain sexy? Is it necessary your whole life to make yourself a succulent tidbit to draw the rapier gaze of other beings? How long does passionate sex last? Can it last? Or, does it give way to deeper, more meaningful things and therefore lose it’s prevalence of place. Will you even still care about sex in your old age? Genitalia ages and although they remain functional they certainly cease to function at maximum capacity. Hey, that’s why they have Viagra. Surely though after a lifetime of seeking, flirting, lusting, chasing, running away, catching and releasing you evolve. Or are we just doomed to be tethered forever to our lust for food, sex and mayhem? 

In any case, how much I am still doing the horizontal mambo in my twilight years will be a matter for private fascination. I will not kid myself that the public is in any way titillated by my sex life or lack thereof. Just me, my love, our wrinkles, years of hard won expertise, candlelight and some silken sheets. That’s Class!!!


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