Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff & Suburban Snow Madness

It’s the day after Xmas and I am snug as a bug in my warm, ocean blue office, communing with the world via my keyboard. I am blissfully ignoring the blizzard (yeah, that’s right) which is busy painting the world outside in shades of white. It’s all pretty until it’s time to go outside, by God!!

It has been snowing for seven hours and I have already, foolishly, run off to the store and been a victim of “Suburban Snow Madness”. This phenomenon strikes suburbanites at the slightest sign of inclement weather. I have only lived in NJ for ten years. As a native New Yorker, I find this phenomenon quite amusing and long for the days when I lived in NY which is not brought to a screeching halt by a few inches of snow. Oh, for the days of straphanger glory!! I am hear to tell you that there really IS something to be said about the MTA. It runs, snow, sleet or rain be damned!!

But I digress, let’s go back to Suburban Snow Madness. The symptoms are everywhere as grocery stores are overrun with people as if an alien invasion is underway. How could they be out of food one day after Xmas? Hmmm. The Home Depot’s and Lowe’s of the world are enjoying a similar fate as the run on salt and calcium chloride continues. We discovered, much to our horror, that the Snow blower fanatics had already snatched up any reasonably priced blowers and run for the hills. Someone should hang signs on the storefronts for the weary would be shoppers, like myself, “SNOW BLOWERS SOLD OUT – GO HOME AND DIG OUT YOUR SHOVELS.” The roads are littered with accidents caused by the impatient and psychotic drivers. Road rage is in full effect as sane drivers, valuing life and limb, drive at a sedate pace while crazed snow criers screech past them to get to the next store where already over worked staff are tottering on the precipice of exhaustion. The sales people look as if they would like to curse the world out rather than help the circling hordes and can you really blame them? lol.

We braved the early part of the snow to look for a snow blower as the one we had has mysteriously broke. This is our first year of snow removal and such challenges are par for the course. I sigh for the holiday and Fall leaf madness which took us over, delaying preparedness for this eventuality but hey with a staff of two, what’s a girl to do? 🙂 Regroup tomorrow at 5 AM, that’s what. That, God help us, is where we will be when the unsuspecting Home Depot staff in Bergen county groggily open their doors. Bergen county is one of the very few counties left in the States that are subject to the Blue Laws which dictate that only necessary items can be bought and sold on Sundays. Apparently, liquor is a necessary item as the liquor store is ALWAYS open but if you have the foolish urge to purchase anything other than food, car supplies or liquor, you are SOL (Shit out of Luck).

My response to this, after significant rumination and unwelcome angst is, “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. I would much rather recall yesterday when in typical, holiday culinary splendor, I prepared:

1. Prime Rib Roast Au Poivre

2. Wild Rice

3. Asparagus with Hollandaise Sauce

4. Mashed Potatoes with Chives

5. Potatoes Au Gratin with Gruyere Cheese & Creme Fraiche

6. Pecan Pie with Orange Zest

7. Flaky Buttermilk Biscuits (a requirement of any self-respecting Southern descendent)

Yesterday, we enjoyed our half decorated, 8′ H, Xmas tree and chillaxed. The tree would be done but in a conspiracy of Murphy like events, all colored lights are dead, leaving us with 900 white lights. 900!!! Ok and can I mention that none of them blink?! NOPE not a one. Apparently, we are victims of false advertising because no amount of bulb replacements would elicit the merest twinkling of lights. Oh and yes, we attempted to purchase more but left sickened and beaten after visiting three, yes three, stores. WTF?! Ok, it’s true, normally this would make me crazy and foul curses would jump, unannounced, from my lips but…but…I am working on reigning it all in, my friends, and going with the flow.

SO! Let it snow, let the tree stand half adorned, let the phone ring off the hook with bill collectors who are disturbed that I underpaid a bill by $4, let the ringing not subside as the business line rings unrelentingly with clients struck by Suburban Snow Madness at the 11th hour. The ringing means money so I suppose there is something in that. As long as I have my love, my cats, my Prime Rib, a glass of rum, pen and paper (in the case of unexpected power outages, God forbid) and my sanity, it’s all good. Today, I will NOT sweat the small stuff because after all “Tomorrow is another day…”.

My thanks to, Scarlett O’Hara, the delectable Vivian Leigh, the Ubiquitous Murphy and the now deceased Richard Carlson for inspiration. 😉


6 thoughts on “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff & Suburban Snow Madness”

    1. Truth to be told, I can’t believe it either. The only good thing about the Blue laws is that it reduces the traffic on Sundays, making it bearable to get around since it’s mall central over here. 🙂 Thanks for the compliment, I am a gourmand and humorist at heart lol. Happy NY!!

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