10 Signs that your Facebook Love affair is Over…

For months now, I have been ruminating about Facebook. No doubt, it was a stellar idea.  You would have to be crazy, or just downright obtuse, not to be agog at the glittering beguilement of the global web and the seductive ease of Facebook.  

Initially, I failed to be dazzled and was somewhat underwhelmed. Pictures, posts and likes, oh my. But in no time at all, I began to get my voyeur on and spent untold hours thinking up people I had disconnected with, staring at their pics and in hysterics over every little post. I will confess to secretly getting a swelled head at my accomplishments, overall fun life and the fabulosity that is me and my friends. Yeah, you do too :).

One day, I woke up and just like a drug addict, what had begun as a little fun had become compulsive and Facebook was clearly my digital addiction of choice. I found myself meandering aimlessly to FB at odd times throughout the day and night. Having access from my Crackberry made it worse, as there I would be in the car screaming to the world about Prince and egads, CHECKING IN. And voila! Before I fully realized what was going down, any errant, aimless and mindlessly hysterical thought had to go in my status. Can you say hooked? 

I can only excuse it as the initial starry eyed falling in love period we all feel at the start of a relationship.  All too often, the first things that draw you to a person are the things you just can’t STAND in the end. Or even worse, you simply didn’t notice that they had an inane habit of _ _ _ _. Welcome to my nightmare, the water is warm. 

In a fit of fine, feminine pique, I hit Deactivate last week on my personal page. Much to my horror, a panic ensued?! In the blissful silence that followed my explanation, I stuck my toe in the waters and…. Oh goody, I can spend more time on my blog, or look for funding for my business, or work on my novel and make new friends with similar, passionate interests. NICE!!! 

10 Signs Your Facebook Love Affair is over….

1.  You too resent the radically disappearing line of privacy in modern life.  Mystique and anticipation have rapidly given way to uninvited, all up in your face, must be on every minute of the day.  In the final analysis, you do NOT wish to be quite so accessible.  

2.  You are suspicious of a world where real time, face to face connections, are being eschewed for digital love.  Is it real or it it a byte between meetings and baby feedings?

3.  You get pissed that certain people ask you if you saw their FB this, or FB that, before actually giving you the low down. Senseless.

Like you, I did not get the memo. I believe it is an indication of the sheep mentality and the amorphous, ever-present ubiquitous They. All my life, I have been in revolt against this mentality and am disgusted that I fell in lock step for so long…

4.  You are amazed and disgusted to see Facebook spreading like a cancer through generations and now Corporations have jumped feet first into the fray. No doubt, looking to maximize their advertising dollars and profile your likes and dig into your demographics so they can make ever more profits as the unemployment rate looms at 10% (depending on your race/class, as quiet as that’s kept.).  

Are we really so dumb that we can’t see through this ploy? You’ve been PROFILED. Damn that.  

5.  You love the Net but have a sneaking suspicion that it’s unparalleled ability to widen your world is only matched by the increased likelihood of meeting freaks and kooks.  Some of these you have already passed on. Yet, Facebook gives these same ex-friends and lovers, the ability to find and stalk you.

You are smart enough to realize that not everyone who looks, wonders, farts or fantasizes about you is meant to be in your life.  You have enough kooks in the present, thank you very much, as lovable as they may be. Why intensify the potential for unnecessary drama by reintroducing previously discarded others? 

What? Yeah, I know you are fabulous and you really do want them to get that karmic kick in the azz that they so richly deserve by drooling over what they lost. You want them to know how well you have done without them.  You also are insanely curious to see what loser they ended up with. Resist temptation and give your already overworked brain and your friends a rest. In the natural cycle of life, those that are meant to stay with you DO. Everyone else is just an opening act.

6.  You can’t help but notice that Facebook is a breeding ground for attention whores. Everywhere you look, you see signs of the “Dumbing Down of America”. The proliferation of idiotic posts only prove this out. 

It’s only with celebrity that people continuously wish to know what you’re doing. We can not ALL be celebrities. Me? Hey, I love you man but the mundaneness of your existence is too similar to mine and it makes my head hurt. I don’t really need yet another unwelcome  glimpse into the land of MINDS GONE WRONG.

7.  If you see one more pic of someone with their drunken friends having a complete moment of idiocy that should not have seen the light of any digital camera, let alone be fodder for the unsuspecting masses, you will SCREAM. Or go Post-al about it in your next Facebook status.

8.  You have watched one too many people have public Post-al meltdowns. It starts with maudlin and random posts which blossom into inappropriate rage, comments only they can understand or videos with angry, crazy, crying people. Can you say embarrassing?

This is the very height of self indulgence. Life is not a movie and emotions expressed out of context are very often just NOISE.   

Truth? You have surreptitiously begun deleting the posts of the offenders as you don’t want the embarrassing truth to leak out and you are sick of fielding emails from close friends saying, “Who is that freak on your page? Do you REALLY know them?” Unfriend, unfriend and distance yourself digitally from the madness.  

9.   You find yourself humming, America. Home of the Free, Land of the Brave, Place of Conspicuous Consumption. The race to get more friends and/or have the most friends is just silly and pointless. When did it become a sign of prestige? If it’s not a Fan page and you are not a celebrity there is something wrong with having like 800+ friends. Do you really think they all give a damn?

10.  You despise the shallower side that so many people feel free to display on Facebook. To many of us want to walk on the stupid side and while I understand that we need entertainment and diversion from the state of the world today, it really is important to balance your efforts and effect change NOW. Facebook is an ideal tool to do that. Post something meaningful and spread consciousness, encourage thought. A serious post all to often gets the cricket response. Are we really that (a) apathetic (b) uninformed or (c) blissfully ignorant. 

I plan to keep my Facebook business page and my personal networking page for writers and poets etc. I want to connect with like minded people and use my time judiciously. That’s cool and if I see signs of any of the above – I will have to continue to exercise choice and click UNFRIEND.

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6 thoughts on “10 Signs that your Facebook Love affair is Over…”

    1. Maybe there are secret messages embedded in the program lol. It’s SO addictive lol. I spoke to my Mom today who is over 60 and couldnt believe that she too is now obsessed with finding MORE friends – good god. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by…

      1. Oh God… Oh God I say… (As you do when simultaneous feeling happens) haha
        I so agree… Bace Fook as I call it… is taking over grey matter
        Hopefully us poets somehow stay sane xx

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