I yearn…

Time moves on,

an unceasing river

that ignores the weight of my subconscious cares.

My face turns,

inevitably inward

and unfailingly

I find you there.

I have tried

to explain the inexplicable

but my ramblings fall upon deaf ears.

I have tried to erase

what seems inevitable

and failing that to destroy beauty with anger,

to no avail.

Paroxysms of reasoning,

crumble in the wake of unbridled emotions.

I woke one day with a dream of you,

and it has stubbornly dogged my footsteps,

defying sense.

I thought never to see you,

to hold you,

to love you,

to fear you and your unknowing power over me,

and yet all have come to pass.

Not what I would have come to pass.

I rage against fate,

a fool’s errand.

I breathe in

and I yearn,

I breathe out

and I yearn.

Slowly,

it has become a part of me,

against my volition,

sweet, secret and poignant,

like the depth of my eyes,

or the small, black mole that festoons my chin.

I wait for something to change,

not knowing what I would change.

The ache of not having you near?

The desire to know all of you,

not just what you choose to share?

Your cautious nature,

or my tempestuous spirit?

My heart,

I fear,

has never learned the art of erasure

and so I am left to deal with its wrath.

I breathe in

and I yearn…

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4 thoughts on “I yearn…”

  1. Beautiful Coco. A gorgeous offering. So many lines I know well and recognise within my own heart..yearning becomes us and cements who we are,as women, as poets,as the creatrix of dreaming.. what a beautiful tapestry we weave xx

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