I couldn’t make it to the beach today as I am under the weather lol. I started off my evening TV session with a glass of icy, sweet tea and the very welcome respite of my most beloved appliance, the air conditioner. On a 90 degree day, nothing spells joy like ice cold anything.
30 minutes later, I am feverishly typing away on my keyboard, caught somewhere between horror and hilarity. On LX New York, they featured a segment about the latest trends in break-ups. Apparently, one can now go on a website and order a break-up. Things that make you go hmmm.
Here’s what a few of your hard earned dollars will get you:
– $10 to breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
– $25 to break an engagement.
– $50 to announce to your significant other that you want a divorce.
All for less than the price of a meal. Hark! We have now reached the stage where it is cheaper to leave someone than it is to court them.
Not shocked yet? Hold on, there’s more. Apparently, you have your choice of getting it nicely done, or you can provide the website staff with all the reasons for your break-up, no matter how intimate, and they will call the person out on their (a) whorishness (b) assholeness (c) bitchiness, or (d) the qualities that make said victim un-loveable. AND for a little fun they will record it to and if you are very, very lucky they will post it on the website. www.idump4u.com.
Dear John letters were not enough so we evolved into Break-up via Text. Now, apparently we have kicked that up a notch and we don’t have to do the deed at all just pay someone else and your nightmare is over and someone else’s can begin.
This is proof, to an insane degree, of the disconnectedness spawned by internet. I can’t imagine ever when this would be a feasible way to treat someone after being intimately connected with them. I think it is a disgusting, gutless, classless and demeaning way to treat anyone regardless of how idiotic, difficult or insane said party may be. When it comes to marriage, surely we can add immorality to the mix. And yes, it is FUNNY as hell but some of the funniest things we witness are only funny when they are NOT happening to you.
Me? I would make it my life’s mission to hunt you down and make you pay for such disrespect of my person. I can pretty much assure you that I would not need any digital aids to convey my message either :). That may be petty but at least it’s honest, direct and real.
For those of you who would prefer revenge from a distance, see the links below. Sadly, I can think of many people who would benefit from the shock of receiving a dead bouquet, or a “deconstructed” teddy bear lmao.
What are your thoughts?