Punctured

A monument of pain stands between us.

It went up stealthily,

brick by impervious brick.

 

My silence,

rich with the strength of complicity

and self righteousness, 

became the mortar that holds us in place.

 

No one is as surprised as me,

to watch our selves

spin heedlessly towards destruction.

 

In the face of carelessness,

I set about the bloody task

of tending to wounded spirits and broken hearts.

 

I implore you for a little care

but my words echo back emptily

as all frequencies are blocked

by the white noise of indifference.

 

I chance upon our words,

lying languidly ‘cross overstuffed chairs,

entangled in sweat drenched covers,

or trip over them, 

discarded and forlorn,

on treads well worn, leading nowhere.

 

Woman.

A word that evokes respect of ancient ways.

Mother,

Sorceress,

Seamstress,

Sage.

 

In olden days,

worship was my middle name.

and I moved the earth 

with my seasons of change.

 

Now,

I am enslaved,

to clean your house,

bear your children 

and safeguard your heart.

 

Dutifully,

I go about my tasks

but am distracted by the cries

of the small, shackled Spirit

whose promise was subsumed beneath

the weight of her responsibilities.

 

This then is what’s required

 to make you feel more

 Alive and functioning.

 

While I die,

choking on my silence,

– Punctured…

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13 thoughts on “Punctured”

  1. i have to wonder, is it that male and female perspectives are opposed or could it be that someone decides that they want to change the rules somewhere down the road.

    we’ve all been there at the honeymoon stage of our relationships where we (men & women) give a little more, ignore the warning signs, love a little harder, forgive a little easier, bend our limits, etc. and we do these things for our own selfish reasons…

    we want what we want!… until we decide that we don’t want it as much as we thought we did, or just don’t want it any more.

    asking the “hard questions” gets people labeled as “the bad person”, misogynist and other “non compliant” and less than virtuous things. been there, done that…
    closet FULL of t-shirts! 😉

  2. thank you for responding to what for some would be difficult questions to answer. there seems to be something ugly in the air as it relates to feminism amongst my fb “friends”. while equality is an important thing, i’d like to open a discussion on feminism and equality as it relates to marriage and relationships. it might be interesting to hear women’s thoughts on what my reading has revealed to show varying and different views… I know it would be for me.
    Perspective is so important, so while I might step cautiously, i’ll never be scared to come back to your pages! 🙂

    1. Lol. Cool. That actually sounds like an interesting discussion. I’d be interested in participating. I’m on FB but don’t go there often because of the lack of interesting discussions. 🙂 You can find me at Coco Rivers…

      Its interesting to me that some folks feel male and female perspectives are so diametrically opposed. When harmonious they’re supposed to represent balance. In fact, this ideal is so deeply ingrained that even many homosexual couples emulate it. Or so it seems to me.

  3. ”I am enslaved,to clean your house,bear your children and safeguard your heart.”

    a beautiful and poignant offering.
    being the first male to respond and being a bit curious about your perspective as a self proclaimed “angry feminist” (that i for one don’t as yet see 😉 ).

    in the entire post and especially in line above, you share feelings that i interpret as both internal and external suppression. the internal being that you “die, chocking on your silence”. the external from your then husband as you “implore you for a little care”. i’m guessing from your perspective those were either not received or just plain went unanswered.

    curiosity enters here – since we can’t go back and change the past, i’m just curious about your thoughts.

    had those pleas been heard, been accurately understood
    AND been responded to through whatever acceptable compromise or concessions the two of you could work out…
    if “he” could have taken the time (or more time) away from checking his mirror to look deeply into yours… and you into his, (since we’re smart enough to know that what we “think” we know about others isn’t always all there IS to know)

    what then?

    (maybe a future post in the making?)
    thank you for writing this heartfelt cry.
    looking deeply into the mirrors of others sometimes helps us to see OURS
    even clearer.

    1. Hi Mutuo,

      Great question! I was just wondering this morning if I had scared off my male bloggers with my emotional treading lol. Very happy to see that’s not the case.

      I would say that anyone you love enough to marry is worth compromising with and for. I would willing make every attempt to understand where they are coming from before abandoning the ship. However, I believe in reciprocity and began to actively seek it when I hit 35.

      We all have needs and any relationship must meet those needs or it becomes stunted and dies. We all need to be HEARD. If the person closest in your life can’t do that for you then why bother? A person’s actions speak infinitely louder than their words.

      My marriage failed for many reasons not just one. It is interesting to note that he was from the Ivory Coast and did have a very specific image of what women “should” be like. I am proud to say that I did not conform lol.

      I think some people only write about what they feel which gives them tunnel vision. I cull my experiences and feelings and actively seek to cast the net of my empathy outwards. It allows me to portray a fuller range of feelings for my writing and be a better human being. Love the mirror metaphor!!!

  4. You described a lot of my crumbled marriage here:

    “This then is what’s required

    to make you feel more

    Alive and functioning.

    While I die,

    choking on my silence,

    – Punctured…”

    This is beautifully written and so heart-wrenchingly true, Coco.

  5. Powerful, moving and thought-provoking. I love it.”I am enslaved,to clean your house,bear your children and safeguard your heart.” How many women can actually say this “isn’t” their reality? Your poem touches on the enslavement of women, I feel, not only from the relationship’s point of view, but from society’s expectations as well. I will surely be back for more!

    1. Hey Bella,

      It’s always wonderful to see a new face! Thanks for the compliment and insightful commentary. It’s all too true and so as the agitator I felt compelled to share this. It is the 21st century so I am still surprised that this modus operandi is still so deeply embedded in women’s lives. “How many?” “Too many” would be my angry response….

      Peace,

      L.

  6. Hey Jennifer,

    Thank you. I like your work!! It’s been fun looking through your old entries and sharing in a small part of your journey.

    It occurs to me that I should date my poems lol. This is old, like ummm 10 yrs old! I was married at the time but I thought it was worth publishing because so many women fall into this trap. I get sick of reading about it or watching it unfold in the women around me. I’m too outspoken to be quiet under duress in relationships but maybe it will help someone who needs it to find their voice. I am at heart an angry feminist 😉

    C.

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